Main Characters
Boodles DiNero / Cannoli Spitzer / Carl Scungilli / Charlotte Cummings / Copper Tom / Dakota Wells / Floyd Baxter / Frank Slate / Hank ‘Captain H’ Megedagik / Jezebel Crowley / Mahdakis / Myra ‘Rizzo’ Rizaado / Nicki Tater / Nigel Noodles / Pablo él Dente / Pock Wells / Pumpkinhead / Raven Dowd / Slappy Joe / Sleaze Rock / Snowy McPeet / Tony Ravioli / Violet-Basia Sinclair / Tommy ‘White Tom’ Gladbags
Un-Supporting Characters
Alexander / Angelica Knight / Black Tom / Charlie Moonglow / Curly Schaefer / Felicity Feulgude / Goiter Knight / Jack Carrot / Jason Miller / Kim Scungilli / Paul Antonelli / Polly Waggle / Sally Palmer / Squid / Yogi McNugget / Yolanda Zambrano
Whores, Homos, & Pervs
Anika Gilbarti / Creepy-Perverted-Bastard / Curtis Bolio / Deputy Dale / Dick / Liz Raynor / Gary the Bus Driver / Harry Johnson / Joe Sajenewksi / June Bughe / Karen Blitzer / Moon / Petunia Primavera / Ranger Rob / Ronald Horshack / Some Old Dude / Some Other Old Dude / Tori Seidel
Scandalous Psychotic Deviants
Bobby Bobo / Gary ‘from Deephole’ Novac / Kurt Lupinacci / Lori DiSalvo / Muffin Man / Rad / Rob Burry / Sham Rock
Norford’s Finest
Joe the Cop / Kenneth ‘Commissioner’ Stromboli / Officer Darryl / Officer Jim / Officer Sal / Officer Roy / Rookie Rick
Groupies, Roadies, Shysters & F.A.G.G.’s
Babs / Bobby Jo Purebread / Brooklyn Jagger / Dominick Lasagna / Elijah / Girlie-Boy DiNardo / Jack Scentoola / Miles Savage / Misty Schneider / Moe / P.J. Giggles / Roxanne / Thrasher
Adults & Birth-givers
Anthony Slate / Fred DiNero / Howard Fuss / Nicki’s Mom / Mrs. DiNero / Mrs. Rizaado / Mrs. Slate / Mrs. Crowley / Mr. O’Keefe / Wolfman
Heard But Not Seen
Andrea / Dickbag / Elmer Crowley / Kelly Pierce / Pablo’s Cousin / Skeeter / Terri Cloth
Mountain Folk
Barbie & Dale / Blanche Cartwright / Chuckles / Crazy Davy / Dee Dee McGinty / Donny Dormante / Gigi / Heather Baker / Jillian Waters / Lizzy / Rachael Clapton / Roger Daniels / Sherry Mae-Berry / Sue Salisbury
The B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. Chronicles 