Frequently Asked Questions

WHAT ARE B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S.?

Bemused Utterly Repugnant Nation Of Useless Tainted Souls

B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. want nothing to do with society and society wants even less to do with them.

IS THERE MORE THAN ONE KIND?

There are several different species within the B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S., all of which possess their own individual outlandish imperfections which define their characters as nothing less than a sensational fit for a member of the Bemused Utterly Repugnant Nation Of Useless Tainted Souls.
These imperfections are worn arrogantly like medals and are easily spotted at distances by other members of the Human Race.

DO B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. YEARN?

B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. carry with them false hopes, inconceivable aspirations and pathetic dreams of becoming something other than B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S.; a laughable concept, as the establishment has greatly tipped the balance against their favor and made any chance of success as tedious and unthinkable as eating soup with a steak knife.

WHERE DO B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. EXIST?

You may see one hitchhiking on the side of the road.

You may see one urinating on the side of the road.

You may even see one hitchhiking and urinating on the side of the road.

But more times than not, you’ll see one being beaten by the police on the side of the road.

If you’re lucky, you might see one in a neon colored reflective vest stabbing fresh trash along side the interstate.

If you’re unlucky, you may find one when you come home befriending or dating your child. It all depends upon the degree of unlucky that you are. Really, really unlucky people have seen some B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. driving away in their automobiles.

B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. Places of Interest & Terminology

WHY DO B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. EXIST?

B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. exist to make us feel better about ourselves. To quote Samuel Clemens (that’s Mark Twain for all you B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S.):

“Let us be thankful for the fools, but for them, we could not succeed.”

HOW DO B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. EXIST?

B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. are known to exchange sexual favors for food, drugs and liquor. It is because of this and this only, that they are still in the mix of human beings, as their sexuality is found squeamishly irresistible. After all, is there nothing more invigorating than tossing a lowlife degenerate out of a moving vehicle after they have just let you thoroughly violate every orifice of their vile bodies?

DO B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S. KNOW HOW TO TELL TIME?

Not really.

For the B.U.R.N.O.U.T.S., the space of time between today and tomorrow is perceived more infinite and pointless than the same space of time for any other creature on the planet. These periods of time between today and tomorrow last weeks, months, years, and even decades for the less fortunate. Either way, it is a lifetime; a lifetime spent living in yesterday’s shadow reflecting on no tomorrows, a lifetime spent on the staging table of flawless failure.